Certified High-Performance coach, speaker, author, husband, adventurer, former commando-paratrooper, and tsunami survivor.

How To Remain Patient When Things Aren't Going Your Way


To remain patient when things are going sideways is an art. Mastering that art is essential to your well-being and future happiness. If you think you are impatient, this article will help you change your attitude and teach you how to remain patient and create a better future.

Before going further, I have a challenge for you (beware, it will sound random): when at work, at home, or other people’s places, I want you to have a look at the microwave and see if there is any remaining time on the display. Even though we can warm up a meal in just a few minutes, we often find ourselves too impatient to wait for the countdown to finish. Sounds familiar? 

One of the biggest obstacles on our path to achieving success is impatience. It can be an evil enemy that weakens our focus and ruins our chances of moving toward our goals and fulfilling our dreams. 

Millions want to become more successful and happier but are missing a crucial skill that’ll help them speed up their progress: the capacity to remain patient.

This article addresses one of the key topics featured in the no-bullshit guide to creating success and fulfillment in life and business, where you’ll uncover the 3-part formula to design and live a more rewarding life. It may sound too good to be true, but it’s a system that actually works. If you haven’t read it yet, I highly recommend that you do so now to gain a better understanding of what it takes to reach excellence. Additionally, you can read the 4 steps to reach excellence and learn a methodology you can apply to any subject to speed up your progress.

How To Remain Patient When Things Aren't Going Your Way

What is patience?

Patience is the ability to wait until the time is right or until the situation or person is ready. More than that, remaining patient is being able to tolerate delay, frustration, or disappointment without getting angry or upset. It is the ability to keep the big picture in mind when making decisions.

Why is it difficult to remain patient?

More and more, we are losing the ability to deal with discomfort and remain patient. And it’s not really our fault. We are influenced by powerful industries that are making billions selling us convenience:  

If you have a headache, take a painkiller.

If you are bored, take your phone for entertainment.

If you are stressed, take a Xanax.

If you are unhappy, swallow an anti-depressant.

If you have bad nights, take sleeping pills.

On top of that, the advance of technology makes our life more convenient. Everything goes faster: transport, information, commerce, communication, etc. Everything you want can be delivered today.

Marketing campaigns are bombarding us with “easy and fast” qualities. We are naturally attracted to the path of least resistance because our brain is wired to conserve energy. It’s not bad in itself; I mean, why take the long road when there is a shortcut? It makes no sense. The problem is that when we can not remain patient, we refuse to take the long road, and we waste our time looking for shortcuts. While in reality, the only option is often to walk the whole way. 

People developed an aversion to efforts, and so they quit too soon. Do you struggle in your relationship? QUIT! Do you struggle with your diet? QUIT! Do you struggle in your job? QUIT! Do you struggle with your kids? QUIT! Wait, what?

Of course, sometimes we should adjust course, and quitting is the best decision. But most of the time, we should simply put in the work and accept that things take time. (Learn how not to quit when things are getting hard)

Remain patient to speed up your success

We tend to see patience as something slow and passive. It sounds contradictory, but remaining patient can accelerate your success. Let me tell you a story:

Once upon a time, after scrolling a bit too long on social media, Josh and his friend Sarah decided that they too, wanted to quit their 9-5 and work from a beach in Mexico. (By the way, I want to be honest; that’s where I am writing this article from. And yes, life could be worse! Please, no hard feelings.)

After reading the “4-hour workweek” (great book btw!) and spending a few hours watching YouTube videos about how to make 7 figures in 7 days (not that great), they both decided to open their own business as a coach. After several months of attempting to secure paid clients, they realized that the industry was saturated and that making money would be challenging.

Just at the right time, they met a guy who told them how he makes consistent five figures with his Amazon business. Josh stopped coaching and opened an online store. Sarah decided to remain patient and give her coaching business another chance.

A few months later, Josh felt burned out from dealing with the Chinese manufacturers, the unfair competition, and the hours of work he was putting in while still not making any profit. He decided to quit. Fortunately, he registered for a free webinar about how to make passive income and made a new plan: to create an online course.

After writing weekly articles, focusing on meeting people, and sharing her ideas on social media, Sarah finally got her first paying client. She had to remain patient, but she officially became a coach!

Five years later…

After investing hundreds of dollars in marketing funnels and paid ads, Josh sold only two courses. So he switched to making YouTube videos, tried to become an influencer on Instagram, joined an MLM, became a blogger and a graphic designer, and I forgot all the other stuff. Eventually, after investing all his savings, he returned to his 9-5. Disappointed and frustrated.

Sarah grew her coaching practice, kept learning, and made the necessary effort to master the art of coaching and serve people better. She pushed through the first tough years, but because she was committed and remained patient. She can now live comfortably from her coaching business and has a growing clientele. And still enjoy the beach in the Caribbean.

In my seven years as a digital nomad, I have met a lot of Josh and Sarah. Actually, more Josh’s than Sarah’s.

Man remain patient and continue looking for the diamonds

What are the benefits of remaining patient?

Improves productivity

With patience, we improve our ability to prioritize, plan and make decisions. Instead of rushing and having impulsive reactions, it helps us stay calm and grounded during stressful times while encouraging creative thinking and finding the best solutions to difficult situations.

Improves mental toughness 

Patience helps us become more tolerant and less reactive when facing difficult situations. It builds resilience and helps us cultivate motivation to reach our long-term objectives. 

Improves emotional health.

Impatience has been linked to increased stress levels and anxiety, which leads to physical and mental health problems. Remaining patient when things are not going our way increases our self-awareness and understanding and helps us have better self-control. To remain patient allow us to take a step back and appreciate the present moment, which improves our overall sense of well-being.

Improves relationships with others.

It allows you to communicate effectively and build better relationships with others. As people become more willing to spend time understanding one another, they develop more empathy and compassion.

Why do we need patience?

Are you not convinced yet? We live in a world that constantly rewards instant gratification. We want everything, and we want it now. When we don’t do things quickly enough or perfectly enough, we feel guilty because we’ve let someone else down (or worse: ourselves). We lose sight of the bigger picture because we’re so focused on what needs to happen next.

This behavior creates lots of stress and anxiety. While the only thing we should do is slow down. Taking the time to think before acting can help you to make rational decisions that will benefit everyone involved.

Success and fulfillment don’t just happen. It is a long-term game. And to win the game, you have to remain patient. The most successful people show patience by adopting a long-term view and taking the time to research and plan their strategies. They have the discipline to stick to their plans and avoid getting sidetracked by immediate pleasure. They understand that success takes time and that remaining patient is essential for achieving their goals. Patience allows us to keep our cool during setbacks and stay perseverant, even when things don’t go as expected.

Yes, you can be successful even if you can not remain patient. Indeed, being impatient with yourself can be a great motivator that can help you to stay focused and take more action. But even if it helps you perform better to achieve the desired results, the negative side effects are detrimental to your well-being; frustration, shame, and low self-esteem. When you are impatient about what you can’t control, you are just wasting your time and energy. Therefore, instead of trying to figure out healthy impatience, bring grit and excellence in everything you do and let go of what you can’t control.

How To Remain Patient When Things Aren't Going Your Way

How to get better at remaining patient?

I used to be the poster child for the phrase “impatience is a virtue.” I can’t count how often my parents said,” be patient,” and I am pretty sure I would have failed at the marshmallow experiment. But over the years, I learned that it is possible to train patience, but it is not easy. Why not easy? Because it requires patience to train patience.

It starts by recognizing and managing the emotions that lead to impatience, such as stress, anxiety, and frustration, so you can learn to tolerate delays and frustrations without becoming crazy.

Four steps to get better at remaining patient:


    1. Increase awareness: Recognize when the feelings of impatience are coming and what triggered them. Are your being impatient with yourself or external factors your can’t control?


    1. Practice delaying gratification: This is the act of resisting the temptation of an immediate reward to receive a more substantial reward later. Practicing this will help you develop patience as you learn to wait for the bigger reward. But be careful not to fall into the trap of always postponing the joy and pleasure for later and never enjoying the present moment.


    1. Remember your long-term goals: Look at the big picture and understand that every step gets you closer. It might not be as fast as you wish, but maybe it is just as it should be. Visualize success and bring that feeling into everything you do.


    1. Take deep breaths: Taking deep breaths is a simple yet powerful habit to calm down your nervous system, re-oxygen your brain, and relax. Doing this for just a few minutes promotes mindfulness and awareness, which can help to prevent you from reacting impulsively. It also allows you to ground yourself so you are more in the present and surrender to what you can’t change while refocusing on what is in your control.

That’s it! Keep practicing those simple things and you’ll learn to remain patient in any situation.

How did my own life experiences help me become more patient?

I realized that being impatient was causing lots of frustrations in my life. I had to accept the fact that things take time and learn to remain patient to win the long-term game.

The most challenging part was accepting that I am not always in control of everything in my life. Life often throws unexpected curveballs, and it is crucial to be prepared to go with the flow and stay flexible when needed. Finding ways to stay positive and focusing on the things you can control is a great way to cope with the fact that you can’t control everything.

Yes, I like to have control, which made me realize that if I don’t remain patient, I will lose control of the only thing I can truly control: myself.

I also decided to trust life more, which changed everything; my happiness, confidence, mood, and resilience. Accepting “what is” doesn’t mean that you validate or agree with the situation, and it certainly doesn’t remove the pain. But accepting “what is” is deciding to stop suffering. And from there, you can start building! We waste so much time and energy fighting what we can’t change. What if you would trust life to give you precisely what you need at the right moment (even if it is not exactly what you want)?

Mastering the art of patience

To remain patient when things don’t go your way is a valuable skill that allows us to manage our emotions better and get through difficult times with a positive attitude. It is an essential life skill that supports us in creating meaningful relationships, reaching our goals, and living a more fulfilling life. And I don’t make that up! But if you are still not convinced, look on Google at the many studies that show that people with higher levels of patience are more likely to achieve greater success.

Patience is an important virtue that we all need to practice in our lives. The good news is that you can train yourself to remain patient. Just don’t expect it to happen quickly; remember, everything takes time…

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Download Chapter 1 of my new book: "The Illusion of Time"

After nearly dying in a tsunami, I dove deep into personal growth, trying to find answers to my questions. I promised myself to live every single day to the fullest and inspire others to do the same. But for that, I had to get better at life. In my book “The Illusion of Time,” I put together 11 lessons to not suck at life and make the most out of it.

Download Chapter 1 of my new book: "The Illusion of Time"

After nearly dying in a tsunami, I dove deep into personal growth, trying to find answers to my questions. I promised myself to live every single day to the fullest and inspire others to do the same. But for that, I had to get better at life. In my book “The Illusion of Time,” I put together 11 lessons to not suck at life and make the most out of it.

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